Monday, November 9, 2009
It's been 1 week since I've had my surgery. Last Friday was a really hard day. It was the worst so far. I was having a hard time drinking. I thought I may have a stricture, but early Saturday morning I realized that each time I took a drink I would take a deep breath before I drank and would swallow a lot of air, filling my pouch with air. I couldn't drink very much at a time and by Friday night I was in so much pain. I was not liking life!
Saturday was much better, I could drink a lot more I felt a lot stronger. I was able to get up and go visit my parents. It was my first big trip out of the house. I was still feeling a little weak, I'm still on a clear liquid diet and I haven't had many calories this week but I did okay there.
Sunday I was really feeling like I was ready for some solid food. It was a difficult day just because it seemed like the time to start eating again was so close. By Sunday night I was sooo ready. I did cheat a little and eat Sunday evening (last night). I had a small amount of mashed potatoes with some shredded cheese. It tasted so good. I had only about 2 Tablespoons and it was so satisfying. It really filled me up. I was surprised how good it felt to be "full", or as full as I can feel on 2 Tablespoons of mashed potatoes.
Today is Monday, It's been 7 days since my surgery. My stomach is feeling okay, I still have some pain, but I'm taking Tylenol and my surgery sites are looking good. I am able to start on "Solid Liquids" today (officially). This includes Oatmeal, Cream of Wheat, Yogurt, Instant Breakfast, and Mashed Potatoes. It's nice to get some protein. I've felt a lot better than I have all week. It's about 2pm now and I've have 3 small meals (I'm supposed to have 5). I had some Greek Yogurt. It's low fat and plain. It's sour, but I added some sugar-free, seedless Strawberry Jam to give it some flavor and take some of the sour away. It helped a little, but it was still sour, so next time I may add some sweetener to see if that helps. It's going to be hard to get 25 grams of protein in without meat, so I need to get some protein powder to add to my meals. So far so good, I'm liking the eating thing!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Post Op
November 3, 2009 -
I'm not a very good patient. I'm too demanding. I had a great nurse but I started to feel sorry for her early this morning. About 11:00pm last night I started to have some chest pain. It was mild and although I do have a medical background I did wonder whether or not it could be a blood clot. About midnight the pain was pretty severe and I let my nurse know - about 10 minutes later I hear over the loudspeaker "Rescue team to 518". I'm in room 518 and seconds later about 10 doctors run into my room and start shooting the questions. I'm a little embarrassed, they're thinking heart attack, I'm thinking maybe blood clot, most likely gas. During surgery your tummy is pumped full of CO2 and the pain I'd felt up to that point was the pressure of the gas in my tummy - In the next 15 minutes I have an EKG, chest X-ray and blood taken. It was quite impressive and I guess if nothing else it was a fun drill for them to run. As it turns out it was gas and they all left my room looking disappointed.
I didn't sleep much that night, and around 4am I started to itch - I'd been on the Fentanyl since surgery and I think it built up in my system and it felt like ants were crawling all over my bones. My doc ordered some Benadryl and it worked OK but around 9am I was given a new pain medicine. I talked to James at 8:30am and he decided to come down to the hospital, I talked to each of the kids, but felt so tired, I think I fell asleep for a second talking to my oldest son, Connor. At 9 am I got my new pain medicine and at 9:15 am I stopped breathing.
I'm really lucky - I had a great nurse who had no reason to come in and check up on me, she had just given me some new pain medicine and usually they come and check up on you once every hour or so, but she felt "prompted" to come and check on me and found me unresponsive and not breathing. I woke up two hours later in the ICU - I was in a fog for quite a while - I must have been told 6 times what happened - everyone was so patient. The first doctor I saw was the ICU Chief Resident - He said that the nurse found me breathing only once per minute, or at least "not often enough to sustain life". They didn't know how long I had been in this condition and my heart hadn't stopped, I was unresponsive, my pupils were "fixed and dilated". They gave me some medication that didn't help right away because my IV had blown (meaning it had come out of my vein) and they were in the process of putting me on a respirator when I started to wake up a little and started to breathe on my own a little better. They kept telling me I gave them quite a scare, I guess it was nothing compared to what James went through.
He was in the car when the hospital called him on the cell phone. He didn't pick it up in time and they left a voice mail saying that I had some issues with my breathing and that I was no longer on the 5th floor and that he should go to the 2nd floor, to the ICU. When he got the the hospital a nurse was waiting for him and they took him to a waiting room where a member of the hospital clergy was called to talk with him. He thought that I had died - poor sweetheart. My doctor went to talk to him and the eventual conclusion was that I had been given too much pain medicine and it had caused me to stop breathing. We were both told that if the nurse had not found me at that time I would have had some severe brain damage from lack of oxygen or I very easily could have died in just a matter on minutes. It was very scary. I spent the rest of the time in the hospital in the ICU.
The rest of the day was spent waking up from the cloud I found myself in. Nothing else exciting happened. Later that evening I finally was able to start having some small sips of water and was able to get up and walk some more. Nothing more eventful happened, but as far as I'm concerned that's fine - one close call was enough for me!
I was given a blessing before I had my surgery by my sweetheart and my father and I was promised that I would recover and heal speedily. I'm so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who loves me and knew I was in trouble and sent an amazing nurse to check up on me, just in time to prevent any negative consequences - I feel very grateful and blessed this evening. It's a testimony to me that prayers are heard and answered!!
November 4, 2009 -
Last night went much better. They took me off of the narcotics when I went to the ICU, I've been on Tylenol since - It's been working well. The more I get up and walk the better my pain is. James decided to spend the night last night. I don't think he got very much sleep. I finally got a couple hours. My doctors came by and really would like me to spend one more night in the hospital, but I'm hoping they will let me go tonight. I think we just doubled what this surgery is going to cost us by ending up here in the ICU. The sooner they can release us the better. They increased what I can drink to 4oz in 1 hour and I got to eat for the first time. I had some jell-o and some broth. It's surprising how quickly I feel full. I think I'll be able to make this cup o' jell-0 last all day!
10:oopm - They let me go home tonight! I was up walking a lot today and feeling great, eating well and my doctor agreed to let me leave the hospital at about 6pm this evening. I was very grateful. It was a bumpy ride home, but it's nice to be in my own comfy bed - I think I'm going to sleep much better tonight. My wound sites are feeling much better. They have never felt very painful - the only real pain I've felt is pressure from the gas. They did send me home with the anti-nausea pill and some Percocet. So far so good!
November 5th, 2009
It's so nice to be home. Today I have spent a lot of time sleeping. I have felt really tired all day. I have got in my fluids - it's a lot of sipping throughout the day - I've also gotten up and walked around the house a few times. My pain has been minimal - I have been taking Tylenol and it has been working well. As long as I keep up with it and don't go too long in between doses I'm good. I'm surprised how quickly my recovery has been. My surgical sites are looking good, no pain, the gas pain is minimal today. I'm feeling pretty good.
I've heard a lot of people say that they are really emotional, but so far I've not felt any of that. I haven't felt any hunger yet, food still smells really good and I do get "cringes" of yearnings. I'm not hungry, just a thought "man that would taste really good." But it's not real hunger pains or cravings. It's all different. I' started to drink "Crystal Light" today from home and it tasted way to sweet to me, I had to dilute it with water quite a bit before I could drink it.
I've decided to weigh myself once a week - every Monday. So I have a few days left. I don't want to become obsessed with how much weight I'm losing. I just want to feel healthier and stronger. Overall everything is going okay - I'm feeling good, my biggest issue right now is that I'm tired and feel weak, I'm guessing that won't change till I get something more to eat. Bye for now.
I'm not a very good patient. I'm too demanding. I had a great nurse but I started to feel sorry for her early this morning. About 11:00pm last night I started to have some chest pain. It was mild and although I do have a medical background I did wonder whether or not it could be a blood clot. About midnight the pain was pretty severe and I let my nurse know - about 10 minutes later I hear over the loudspeaker "Rescue team to 518". I'm in room 518 and seconds later about 10 doctors run into my room and start shooting the questions. I'm a little embarrassed, they're thinking heart attack, I'm thinking maybe blood clot, most likely gas. During surgery your tummy is pumped full of CO2 and the pain I'd felt up to that point was the pressure of the gas in my tummy - In the next 15 minutes I have an EKG, chest X-ray and blood taken. It was quite impressive and I guess if nothing else it was a fun drill for them to run. As it turns out it was gas and they all left my room looking disappointed.
I didn't sleep much that night, and around 4am I started to itch - I'd been on the Fentanyl since surgery and I think it built up in my system and it felt like ants were crawling all over my bones. My doc ordered some Benadryl and it worked OK but around 9am I was given a new pain medicine. I talked to James at 8:30am and he decided to come down to the hospital, I talked to each of the kids, but felt so tired, I think I fell asleep for a second talking to my oldest son, Connor. At 9 am I got my new pain medicine and at 9:15 am I stopped breathing.
I'm really lucky - I had a great nurse who had no reason to come in and check up on me, she had just given me some new pain medicine and usually they come and check up on you once every hour or so, but she felt "prompted" to come and check on me and found me unresponsive and not breathing. I woke up two hours later in the ICU - I was in a fog for quite a while - I must have been told 6 times what happened - everyone was so patient. The first doctor I saw was the ICU Chief Resident - He said that the nurse found me breathing only once per minute, or at least "not often enough to sustain life". They didn't know how long I had been in this condition and my heart hadn't stopped, I was unresponsive, my pupils were "fixed and dilated". They gave me some medication that didn't help right away because my IV had blown (meaning it had come out of my vein) and they were in the process of putting me on a respirator when I started to wake up a little and started to breathe on my own a little better. They kept telling me I gave them quite a scare, I guess it was nothing compared to what James went through.
He was in the car when the hospital called him on the cell phone. He didn't pick it up in time and they left a voice mail saying that I had some issues with my breathing and that I was no longer on the 5th floor and that he should go to the 2nd floor, to the ICU. When he got the the hospital a nurse was waiting for him and they took him to a waiting room where a member of the hospital clergy was called to talk with him. He thought that I had died - poor sweetheart. My doctor went to talk to him and the eventual conclusion was that I had been given too much pain medicine and it had caused me to stop breathing. We were both told that if the nurse had not found me at that time I would have had some severe brain damage from lack of oxygen or I very easily could have died in just a matter on minutes. It was very scary. I spent the rest of the time in the hospital in the ICU.
The rest of the day was spent waking up from the cloud I found myself in. Nothing else exciting happened. Later that evening I finally was able to start having some small sips of water and was able to get up and walk some more. Nothing more eventful happened, but as far as I'm concerned that's fine - one close call was enough for me!
I was given a blessing before I had my surgery by my sweetheart and my father and I was promised that I would recover and heal speedily. I'm so grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who loves me and knew I was in trouble and sent an amazing nurse to check up on me, just in time to prevent any negative consequences - I feel very grateful and blessed this evening. It's a testimony to me that prayers are heard and answered!!
November 4, 2009 -
Last night went much better. They took me off of the narcotics when I went to the ICU, I've been on Tylenol since - It's been working well. The more I get up and walk the better my pain is. James decided to spend the night last night. I don't think he got very much sleep. I finally got a couple hours. My doctors came by and really would like me to spend one more night in the hospital, but I'm hoping they will let me go tonight. I think we just doubled what this surgery is going to cost us by ending up here in the ICU. The sooner they can release us the better. They increased what I can drink to 4oz in 1 hour and I got to eat for the first time. I had some jell-o and some broth. It's surprising how quickly I feel full. I think I'll be able to make this cup o' jell-0 last all day!
10:oopm - They let me go home tonight! I was up walking a lot today and feeling great, eating well and my doctor agreed to let me leave the hospital at about 6pm this evening. I was very grateful. It was a bumpy ride home, but it's nice to be in my own comfy bed - I think I'm going to sleep much better tonight. My wound sites are feeling much better. They have never felt very painful - the only real pain I've felt is pressure from the gas. They did send me home with the anti-nausea pill and some Percocet. So far so good!
November 5th, 2009
It's so nice to be home. Today I have spent a lot of time sleeping. I have felt really tired all day. I have got in my fluids - it's a lot of sipping throughout the day - I've also gotten up and walked around the house a few times. My pain has been minimal - I have been taking Tylenol and it has been working well. As long as I keep up with it and don't go too long in between doses I'm good. I'm surprised how quickly my recovery has been. My surgical sites are looking good, no pain, the gas pain is minimal today. I'm feeling pretty good.
I've heard a lot of people say that they are really emotional, but so far I've not felt any of that. I haven't felt any hunger yet, food still smells really good and I do get "cringes" of yearnings. I'm not hungry, just a thought "man that would taste really good." But it's not real hunger pains or cravings. It's all different. I' started to drink "Crystal Light" today from home and it tasted way to sweet to me, I had to dilute it with water quite a bit before I could drink it.
I've decided to weigh myself once a week - every Monday. So I have a few days left. I don't want to become obsessed with how much weight I'm losing. I just want to feel healthier and stronger. Overall everything is going okay - I'm feeling good, my biggest issue right now is that I'm tired and feel weak, I'm guessing that won't change till I get something more to eat. Bye for now.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Going Under The Knife
November 2, 2009
Today's the day! My morning started way too early. James and I were up by 5:00, showered and out the door by 5:30. Speaking of showering - I'm not sure how many people have to do this, but a little advice: Kaiser gave me 2 little packets of anti-bacterial soap to shower with the night before and the morning of my surgery. To save you all a little bit of panic, I'm warning you now: The soap is the consistency of water. Be careful, because as I showered last night, I practically dumped the entire packet on the shower floor, because I was expecting the consistency to be more like shampoo. I stood there considering whether or not I should call Kaiser's emergency line to ask them where I could get some more. I compromised and James brought me some gasoline...just kidding - I had enough yet to wash my belly, and was much much more careful with the second packet this morning.
We arrived at the hospital and checked in. While waiting for the nurse to call me back, I began to feel nervous for the first time. Throughout the entire process so far, my only feelings had been varying ranges of excitement. Now all of the "What ifs?" cluttered my mind. What if I developed a raging infection? What if this turned out to be a HUGE mistake?? What if I left my sweetheart a widower and my children motherless? While I talked myself into a panic attack, James quietly and calmly played my son's PSP next to me. Looking up from his game he noticed the fear that was overtaking me and leaned over and gave me a quick kiss. After 16 years of marriage he knew me enough to know that panic was setting in. In soft, loving words, he comforted me and the panic melted away. Peace filled my heart, and once again, I knew everything would be okay.
The nurse called us back, and things started happening very quickly. IVs, meeting with doctors, and soon I was whisked off to the operating room. One hour & 45 minutes later, I was in the recovery room. My first thought was "Leave me alone, I want to keep sleeping." My second thought was "Where the bleep just happened?" Waves of pain slammed me, and greater feelings of nausea quickly woke me from the effects of the anaesthesia. Don't panic - unfortunately I'm allergic to several types of anti-nausea medicine - so the chances are you will be luckier than I was. Soon, the great nurses and my awesome surgeon, Dr. Metz, had everything under control. After about 2 hours in the recovery room, I was taken up to a room where my husband is helping me write tonight's blog entry.
I feel amazingly well. The surgical sites aren't very sore. My only real pain is more of a pressure from the CO2 gas they used to inflate my belly during surgery. I've received great care and support, and have already been up walking twice. My main complaint, is that my mouth is horribly dry, and I'm not allowed to drink anything until tomorrow morning. Thankfully they are allowing me to suck on ice chips, as long as I don't swallow anything (I have to spit all the melted water out into a cup). It is rather annoying, but SOOO much better than it was before.
I am resting comfortably, and after 3 days of fasting, have no hunger pains or cravings. As I look at my belly, it is amazing to realize that although everything looks the same on the outside, on the inside, my "plumbing" has been completely re-arranged. Overall, the experience was not as bad as I thought it would be. Much less painful than I expected, and I am super excited for my new life to begin.
I especially would like to thank all of the wonderful people who called, e-mailed, and texted me last night and today, wishing me the best of luck and kept me in their prayers. I'm truly blessed to have such amazing friends and family who love me unconditionally. My sweet supportive husband has sat at my bedside referreeing our children's squabbles from home, holding my hand, rubbing lotion on my feet, keeping my gown closed has he helped me walk, and emptying my spit cup, and has never once complained. I am such a lucky girl.
So, this is day one. It is getting late (6:05 pm) - the fentanyl is working great, and my sweet friend Lindsay should be here any minute. Until tomorrow - Bye.
Today's the day! My morning started way too early. James and I were up by 5:00, showered and out the door by 5:30. Speaking of showering - I'm not sure how many people have to do this, but a little advice: Kaiser gave me 2 little packets of anti-bacterial soap to shower with the night before and the morning of my surgery. To save you all a little bit of panic, I'm warning you now: The soap is the consistency of water. Be careful, because as I showered last night, I practically dumped the entire packet on the shower floor, because I was expecting the consistency to be more like shampoo. I stood there considering whether or not I should call Kaiser's emergency line to ask them where I could get some more. I compromised and James brought me some gasoline...just kidding - I had enough yet to wash my belly, and was much much more careful with the second packet this morning.
We arrived at the hospital and checked in. While waiting for the nurse to call me back, I began to feel nervous for the first time. Throughout the entire process so far, my only feelings had been varying ranges of excitement. Now all of the "What ifs?" cluttered my mind. What if I developed a raging infection? What if this turned out to be a HUGE mistake?? What if I left my sweetheart a widower and my children motherless? While I talked myself into a panic attack, James quietly and calmly played my son's PSP next to me. Looking up from his game he noticed the fear that was overtaking me and leaned over and gave me a quick kiss. After 16 years of marriage he knew me enough to know that panic was setting in. In soft, loving words, he comforted me and the panic melted away. Peace filled my heart, and once again, I knew everything would be okay.
The nurse called us back, and things started happening very quickly. IVs, meeting with doctors, and soon I was whisked off to the operating room. One hour & 45 minutes later, I was in the recovery room. My first thought was "Leave me alone, I want to keep sleeping." My second thought was "Where the bleep just happened?" Waves of pain slammed me, and greater feelings of nausea quickly woke me from the effects of the anaesthesia. Don't panic - unfortunately I'm allergic to several types of anti-nausea medicine - so the chances are you will be luckier than I was. Soon, the great nurses and my awesome surgeon, Dr. Metz, had everything under control. After about 2 hours in the recovery room, I was taken up to a room where my husband is helping me write tonight's blog entry.
I feel amazingly well. The surgical sites aren't very sore. My only real pain is more of a pressure from the CO2 gas they used to inflate my belly during surgery. I've received great care and support, and have already been up walking twice. My main complaint, is that my mouth is horribly dry, and I'm not allowed to drink anything until tomorrow morning. Thankfully they are allowing me to suck on ice chips, as long as I don't swallow anything (I have to spit all the melted water out into a cup). It is rather annoying, but SOOO much better than it was before.
I am resting comfortably, and after 3 days of fasting, have no hunger pains or cravings. As I look at my belly, it is amazing to realize that although everything looks the same on the outside, on the inside, my "plumbing" has been completely re-arranged. Overall, the experience was not as bad as I thought it would be. Much less painful than I expected, and I am super excited for my new life to begin.
I especially would like to thank all of the wonderful people who called, e-mailed, and texted me last night and today, wishing me the best of luck and kept me in their prayers. I'm truly blessed to have such amazing friends and family who love me unconditionally. My sweet supportive husband has sat at my bedside referreeing our children's squabbles from home, holding my hand, rubbing lotion on my feet, keeping my gown closed has he helped me walk, and emptying my spit cup, and has never once complained. I am such a lucky girl.
So, this is day one. It is getting late (6:05 pm) - the fentanyl is working great, and my sweet friend Lindsay should be here any minute. Until tomorrow - Bye.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
My Last Day!
It's Sunday night, November 1, 2009 and I'm watching the Broncos play the Ravens on my Tivo. Tomorrow morning I'm having Gastric Bypass surgery. All the anxiety I've felt over the last few days is gone, right now I'm excited. And all I have left to do is pack my bag. Today was a pretty easy day as far the the fasting went. Friday was by far the worst day of the three days, although I am tired of feeling hungry - although it's more of a feeling of empty than hunger. I've had to run to the bathroom a lot today - amazing since I've had nothing to eat for 3 days but it's a good sign that I'm not dehydrated, something that I'm told can easily happen. James has made sure that it hasn't been an issue for me - he's bringing me stuff to drink all the time. It sure is easier with a kind sweety like him to help me along the last few days.
I'm racing through commercials because even though I don't like rib's the Chiles commercials are lookin' good. I thought these last three days would be harder than they were - when they told me there would be three days of clear liquids before the surgery I thought that would be the end of me but like most people will find out, I'm a lot stronger than I thought I would be. I also don't feel as bad as I thought I would. I feel tired but not as weak as I thought I would. Overall things are pretty great. Honestly if I can do it, anyone out there can - just ask my husband. I am the QUEEN of saying no after saying yes. Tomorrow the worst that will happen is pain (baring complications - keep me in your prayers!!) and after having 3 major surgeries in 4 years I can handle the pain - until tomorrow - or until I can type again - I'll see you on the other side!! FYI typing my weight was awful - I have some pictures I've taken and I'll post those next week, please be patient!! :)
I'm racing through commercials because even though I don't like rib's the Chiles commercials are lookin' good. I thought these last three days would be harder than they were - when they told me there would be three days of clear liquids before the surgery I thought that would be the end of me but like most people will find out, I'm a lot stronger than I thought I would be. I also don't feel as bad as I thought I would. I feel tired but not as weak as I thought I would. Overall things are pretty great. Honestly if I can do it, anyone out there can - just ask my husband. I am the QUEEN of saying no after saying yes. Tomorrow the worst that will happen is pain (baring complications - keep me in your prayers!!) and after having 3 major surgeries in 4 years I can handle the pain - until tomorrow - or until I can type again - I'll see you on the other side!! FYI typing my weight was awful - I have some pictures I've taken and I'll post those next week, please be patient!! :)
Getting Ready for Gastric Bypass - A New Beginning!!
October 25, 2009
This thyme (time - my kids didn't get the play on words) last year I was sick - I was morbidly obese, had recently been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and at 38 was on more medication than my 97 year old grandmother. My grandmother is a great example to me. Although she has been 'dying' for the last 20 years, or so she has been telling us, she has lived a long and healthy life. I on the other hand had just been put on a C-PAP machine because sleep testing had discovered I stopped breathing 77 times an hour every night ("sleep apnea") and had been for many many years. I was a mess. My doctors sat me down and discussed my options. They were few. Unless I took charge of my health they gave me as few as 5 years to live. I was devastated!
As a mother of 6 young children and with a wonderfully loving husband I had a life worth living. I set about learning what I needed to do to become a healthier person and to start living life. Up to this point I wouldn't say that I had been living life. I had been existing. Everyone has their own trials they need to overcome, I don't think mine are any harder, they just belong to me. After much prayer and research I decided that Gastric Bypass was what I needed to help me become healthy and get my life back.
I made an appointment with my doctor and he agreed that GB would be a good option for me. I put myself on a waiting list through my insurance company, knowing this could take up to 6 months just to start the process, I did what I could on my own to get a head start.
This blog will give you a 100% honest account of what I went through on my journey toward a healthier life - no dancing around - it's brutal honesty. So once I started my wait for GB I began and shortly after gave up on Nutri-System and Medifast and then just gave up all together. I stuck with my C-PAP because honestly I felt better when I used it. I stopped waking up with headaches and felt like I had more energy, but other than that any goals I set for myself soon fell by the wayside and I was back to the old me - just existing. I exercised now and then but all my eggs were in the GB basket and I waited anxiously for the phone call to come. It took eight months but eventually it came.
CLASSES
I have insurance through Kaiser Permanente. Say what you will, but I've loved it. My process began with physicals and a psychiatric evaluation to make sure I was healthy enough and mentally prepared for GB. Thankfully I have never smoked or drank so that made my process much easier. I was then signed up for some classes to prepare me for the GB experience.
Honestly, I thought this was a waste of my time. I just wanted the surgery and figured this was a way for Kaiser to get some money out of me. I was wrong. I loved the classes. They were very helpful and whether you go through Kaiser or another process if you are offered classes I would take them. There is so much people don't understand about GB. This is not the easy road to weight loss. Anyone who has been through the experience can tell you that. There are many difficult changes to your life you will have to make before and after surgery. Many changes will last throughout your lifetime. There are those who will take the classes and realize that GB is not the right choice for them, and that is OK! This is not a fix-all for everyone. The classes are there to help you decide if this will work for you, to help you understand the choice you are about to make and the life long impact it will have on you. Make sure you go to each and every class. Besides the information you gain, you will make life long friends. I did, her name is Lindsay. She understood me, she was going through the same things I was going through, felt the same things I did, she has become a close friend and a huge support to me during the really hard times everyone goes through during this process. I also am able to be there for her, to help and support her, it's a great feeling to love and be there for someone who is going through something that so closely mirrors what you are feeling and going through too. My advice for classes: speak up, get to know the other members in your class. Exchange phone numbers and e-mail address with them. They know what you're going through better than anyone else because they are going through it. Let them in your life, you won't regret it!!
SUPPORT
It is essential! I was lucky to find Lindsay in my GB prep class, I was also really lucky to reconnect with my High School boyfriend! Strange, but only a few months ago we found each other on Facebook, his name is Chad and he had his GB surgery 4 months ago. How lucky am I! He has been a huge help in letting me know what he went through and what to expect. It makes the whole experience a lot less scary. He's given me some great advice that I will pass on and has promised to send some recipes that I will share here on my blog, because we all know that good food is what it's all about after you get to eat again after surgery.
I have a huge testimony that our Heavenly Father loves each of us and know that he has given me these two great friends to help me though this experience. I also have a great family support. My husband is completely supportive, although he was concerned with the "what if you die" thing. I don't blame him though. It would not be fun to be a 37 year old widower with 6 kids. James (my sweetheart) did go with me to all my doctor appointments so he was able to ask all his questions, I think that helped to calm his fears. Now, as I write this, hours before my GB surgery, he is as excited as I am! We have also been completely honest with our kids. I have 15 and 12 year old girls and 10, 9, 7 and 6 year old boys. They know about the surgery and that it will make mommy feel healthier and lose weight. I have been surprised at how excited they are. They have been constantly telling me all the fun things they are looking forward to doing once mom "is skinny". It's fun for me too!!
Some people may choose not to tell others that they are having GB surgery and that is a choice that they will make, I on the other hand have chosen to tell everyone. Literally everyone. I figure that people are going to realize I am losing weight fast and I would rather tell them in advance than start answering all the questions when they arise. So everyone knows. I personally haven't had anyone say anything negative toward me. Everyone has been really supportive. There are those out there that think GB surgery is taking the easy road. They obviously haven't known anyone whose had the surgery. It takes a lot of work and dedication to a very strict program. It is as much as a diet as anything else out there. As I've told people I have also gained a lot of supporters and cheerleaders. I feel surrounded my "Sherpas" - this is a term that Kaiser uses to describe the people you have around you to help support you during your preparation, surgery and recovery. Right now, I feel strong and ready to succeed!
GASTRIC BYPASS VS. LAP BAND
This is a personal and medical decision. Mostly it's made by you, but sometimes the surgeon may decide that the lap band would be better because of age or significant health problems. Both help you lose weight. Some think the Lap Band is a temporary fix - it isn't - once the lap band is placed in you, it's as permanent as GBS (Gastric Bypass Surgery). It doesn't come back out unless there is a serious medical complication. I choose GBS for several reasons -
1. The weight loss is 30 - 40% vs. 20 -30% with Lap Band
2. Weight loss takes 12 - 18 months vs. 18 months - 5 years with Lap Band
3. With Lap Band you need to go in continually for "fills" by your doctor, vs. GBS, once it's
done, it's done.
4. Complications with GBS vs. Lap Band were not significant enough to outweigh the benefits in
my opinion.
HERE WE GO.........
October 30, 2009
It's down to the wire, my surgery is on November 2nd - that's only 3 days from now!!! I'm just starting to feel nervous. I weighed myself this morning - I'm 306. That was tough to write. I've always had a really hard time admitting to my weight. I've been very embarrassed by my weight gain. I started putting on weight after being abducted and raped when I was 11. The man who raped me said it was my fault because "I was so pretty". I think I tried after that to not look so pretty. (I hope you don't feel uncomfortable with this - I said this would be an honest blog). I was raped again when I was 16 by a family friend, I think these incidents attributed to my weight gain, but the 100 lbs I gained with my 1st baby didn't help either. I was on bed rest with my first two babies and my OB/GYN said the weight would be easy to loose after the babies came. He was a Man! Over the years the weight steadily came on and due to depression and anxiety it was hard to take off. I am blessed to have a loving and supportive husband who loved me unconditionally, always told me I was gorgeous and made be feel sexy and wanted. I love him.
I started my 3 days of clear, sugar free, liquid fast today. It was hard. I made it a lot harder than it should have been I think. For anyone out there thinking of GB I hope my experiences will make your GB surgery easier. First off the thought of eating jell-o and broth was gross so I put off eating. That was a mistake. It just made me grumpy. My poor husband and kids took the brunt of that. I did stay out of the kitchen. James made dinner, he made sausage and egg sandwiches and the smell of the sausage permeated the house, so that was miserable, make sure any food in the house doesn't smell good or lock yourself up in your bedroom, that's what I ended up doing. There are also tons of food commercials so watch your Tivo so you can flip through the commercial or watch movies. One day down, only two more to go:(
October 31, 2009
Day two on my liquid diet - today was much better! I started to drink as soon as I got up, I had some jell-o and soon after some beef broth. I liked it much better than the chicken broth I had yesterday. The beef broth also has a lot more protein so it keeps you fuller longer. I drank regularly throughout the day and that kept me going pretty well. I had some hunger pains but so much better than yesterday! I started to feel a little weak tonight but that's to be expected. I felt well enough to go to my parents house. I live 15 minuets from them and my brother and sister and their families came and the kids went trick-or-treating. The hard part was the pizza my parents ordered for dinner. I though I might have to go hide in a back bedroom, but my broth filled me up and I did okay. I was proud of myself - I decided I needed to get used to eating differently that the others. We go over to my parents for dinner every Saturday night and I'm going to have to start bringing my own meals for awhile. After the surgery I won't have the hunger pains but I will be eating differently. We learned in our classes that cravings can still come to you from your mind, not your tummy. I can understand that.
Before I started this fast I went through a 'good-bye' process with food. I picked my favorite foods and over the last month ate my last meals and literally said good-bye to them. I think this was a healthy thing to do. I've researched people who didn't go through a mourning process with food and had a much harder time after surgery. We had a big snow storm for the 3 days leading up to my fast and I didn't get to my last 3 foods, I wonder if I may still crave those for awhile.
The reason you fast before your surgery isn't to empty your bowels, although you should stay close to the bathroom during this time;) - it's to shrink your liver, it's a heavy organ and they need to move it during the surgery and your intestines are covered with a membrane that will become more stretchy after your fast.
Today has been a very good day, much better than I though it would be, only one day left:)!!
This thyme (time - my kids didn't get the play on words) last year I was sick - I was morbidly obese, had recently been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and at 38 was on more medication than my 97 year old grandmother. My grandmother is a great example to me. Although she has been 'dying' for the last 20 years, or so she has been telling us, she has lived a long and healthy life. I on the other hand had just been put on a C-PAP machine because sleep testing had discovered I stopped breathing 77 times an hour every night ("sleep apnea") and had been for many many years. I was a mess. My doctors sat me down and discussed my options. They were few. Unless I took charge of my health they gave me as few as 5 years to live. I was devastated!
As a mother of 6 young children and with a wonderfully loving husband I had a life worth living. I set about learning what I needed to do to become a healthier person and to start living life. Up to this point I wouldn't say that I had been living life. I had been existing. Everyone has their own trials they need to overcome, I don't think mine are any harder, they just belong to me. After much prayer and research I decided that Gastric Bypass was what I needed to help me become healthy and get my life back.
I made an appointment with my doctor and he agreed that GB would be a good option for me. I put myself on a waiting list through my insurance company, knowing this could take up to 6 months just to start the process, I did what I could on my own to get a head start.
This blog will give you a 100% honest account of what I went through on my journey toward a healthier life - no dancing around - it's brutal honesty. So once I started my wait for GB I began and shortly after gave up on Nutri-System and Medifast and then just gave up all together. I stuck with my C-PAP because honestly I felt better when I used it. I stopped waking up with headaches and felt like I had more energy, but other than that any goals I set for myself soon fell by the wayside and I was back to the old me - just existing. I exercised now and then but all my eggs were in the GB basket and I waited anxiously for the phone call to come. It took eight months but eventually it came.
CLASSES
I have insurance through Kaiser Permanente. Say what you will, but I've loved it. My process began with physicals and a psychiatric evaluation to make sure I was healthy enough and mentally prepared for GB. Thankfully I have never smoked or drank so that made my process much easier. I was then signed up for some classes to prepare me for the GB experience.
Honestly, I thought this was a waste of my time. I just wanted the surgery and figured this was a way for Kaiser to get some money out of me. I was wrong. I loved the classes. They were very helpful and whether you go through Kaiser or another process if you are offered classes I would take them. There is so much people don't understand about GB. This is not the easy road to weight loss. Anyone who has been through the experience can tell you that. There are many difficult changes to your life you will have to make before and after surgery. Many changes will last throughout your lifetime. There are those who will take the classes and realize that GB is not the right choice for them, and that is OK! This is not a fix-all for everyone. The classes are there to help you decide if this will work for you, to help you understand the choice you are about to make and the life long impact it will have on you. Make sure you go to each and every class. Besides the information you gain, you will make life long friends. I did, her name is Lindsay. She understood me, she was going through the same things I was going through, felt the same things I did, she has become a close friend and a huge support to me during the really hard times everyone goes through during this process. I also am able to be there for her, to help and support her, it's a great feeling to love and be there for someone who is going through something that so closely mirrors what you are feeling and going through too. My advice for classes: speak up, get to know the other members in your class. Exchange phone numbers and e-mail address with them. They know what you're going through better than anyone else because they are going through it. Let them in your life, you won't regret it!!
SUPPORT
It is essential! I was lucky to find Lindsay in my GB prep class, I was also really lucky to reconnect with my High School boyfriend! Strange, but only a few months ago we found each other on Facebook, his name is Chad and he had his GB surgery 4 months ago. How lucky am I! He has been a huge help in letting me know what he went through and what to expect. It makes the whole experience a lot less scary. He's given me some great advice that I will pass on and has promised to send some recipes that I will share here on my blog, because we all know that good food is what it's all about after you get to eat again after surgery.
I have a huge testimony that our Heavenly Father loves each of us and know that he has given me these two great friends to help me though this experience. I also have a great family support. My husband is completely supportive, although he was concerned with the "what if you die" thing. I don't blame him though. It would not be fun to be a 37 year old widower with 6 kids. James (my sweetheart) did go with me to all my doctor appointments so he was able to ask all his questions, I think that helped to calm his fears. Now, as I write this, hours before my GB surgery, he is as excited as I am! We have also been completely honest with our kids. I have 15 and 12 year old girls and 10, 9, 7 and 6 year old boys. They know about the surgery and that it will make mommy feel healthier and lose weight. I have been surprised at how excited they are. They have been constantly telling me all the fun things they are looking forward to doing once mom "is skinny". It's fun for me too!!
Some people may choose not to tell others that they are having GB surgery and that is a choice that they will make, I on the other hand have chosen to tell everyone. Literally everyone. I figure that people are going to realize I am losing weight fast and I would rather tell them in advance than start answering all the questions when they arise. So everyone knows. I personally haven't had anyone say anything negative toward me. Everyone has been really supportive. There are those out there that think GB surgery is taking the easy road. They obviously haven't known anyone whose had the surgery. It takes a lot of work and dedication to a very strict program. It is as much as a diet as anything else out there. As I've told people I have also gained a lot of supporters and cheerleaders. I feel surrounded my "Sherpas" - this is a term that Kaiser uses to describe the people you have around you to help support you during your preparation, surgery and recovery. Right now, I feel strong and ready to succeed!
GASTRIC BYPASS VS. LAP BAND
This is a personal and medical decision. Mostly it's made by you, but sometimes the surgeon may decide that the lap band would be better because of age or significant health problems. Both help you lose weight. Some think the Lap Band is a temporary fix - it isn't - once the lap band is placed in you, it's as permanent as GBS (Gastric Bypass Surgery). It doesn't come back out unless there is a serious medical complication. I choose GBS for several reasons -
1. The weight loss is 30 - 40% vs. 20 -30% with Lap Band
2. Weight loss takes 12 - 18 months vs. 18 months - 5 years with Lap Band
3. With Lap Band you need to go in continually for "fills" by your doctor, vs. GBS, once it's
done, it's done.
4. Complications with GBS vs. Lap Band were not significant enough to outweigh the benefits in
my opinion.
HERE WE GO.........
October 30, 2009
It's down to the wire, my surgery is on November 2nd - that's only 3 days from now!!! I'm just starting to feel nervous. I weighed myself this morning - I'm 306. That was tough to write. I've always had a really hard time admitting to my weight. I've been very embarrassed by my weight gain. I started putting on weight after being abducted and raped when I was 11. The man who raped me said it was my fault because "I was so pretty". I think I tried after that to not look so pretty. (I hope you don't feel uncomfortable with this - I said this would be an honest blog). I was raped again when I was 16 by a family friend, I think these incidents attributed to my weight gain, but the 100 lbs I gained with my 1st baby didn't help either. I was on bed rest with my first two babies and my OB/GYN said the weight would be easy to loose after the babies came. He was a Man! Over the years the weight steadily came on and due to depression and anxiety it was hard to take off. I am blessed to have a loving and supportive husband who loved me unconditionally, always told me I was gorgeous and made be feel sexy and wanted. I love him.
I started my 3 days of clear, sugar free, liquid fast today. It was hard. I made it a lot harder than it should have been I think. For anyone out there thinking of GB I hope my experiences will make your GB surgery easier. First off the thought of eating jell-o and broth was gross so I put off eating. That was a mistake. It just made me grumpy. My poor husband and kids took the brunt of that. I did stay out of the kitchen. James made dinner, he made sausage and egg sandwiches and the smell of the sausage permeated the house, so that was miserable, make sure any food in the house doesn't smell good or lock yourself up in your bedroom, that's what I ended up doing. There are also tons of food commercials so watch your Tivo so you can flip through the commercial or watch movies. One day down, only two more to go:(
October 31, 2009
Day two on my liquid diet - today was much better! I started to drink as soon as I got up, I had some jell-o and soon after some beef broth. I liked it much better than the chicken broth I had yesterday. The beef broth also has a lot more protein so it keeps you fuller longer. I drank regularly throughout the day and that kept me going pretty well. I had some hunger pains but so much better than yesterday! I started to feel a little weak tonight but that's to be expected. I felt well enough to go to my parents house. I live 15 minuets from them and my brother and sister and their families came and the kids went trick-or-treating. The hard part was the pizza my parents ordered for dinner. I though I might have to go hide in a back bedroom, but my broth filled me up and I did okay. I was proud of myself - I decided I needed to get used to eating differently that the others. We go over to my parents for dinner every Saturday night and I'm going to have to start bringing my own meals for awhile. After the surgery I won't have the hunger pains but I will be eating differently. We learned in our classes that cravings can still come to you from your mind, not your tummy. I can understand that.
Before I started this fast I went through a 'good-bye' process with food. I picked my favorite foods and over the last month ate my last meals and literally said good-bye to them. I think this was a healthy thing to do. I've researched people who didn't go through a mourning process with food and had a much harder time after surgery. We had a big snow storm for the 3 days leading up to my fast and I didn't get to my last 3 foods, I wonder if I may still crave those for awhile.
The reason you fast before your surgery isn't to empty your bowels, although you should stay close to the bathroom during this time;) - it's to shrink your liver, it's a heavy organ and they need to move it during the surgery and your intestines are covered with a membrane that will become more stretchy after your fast.
Today has been a very good day, much better than I though it would be, only one day left:)!!
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